I have met someone and I am still married. I told her on the second date and she has agreed to see my Platonic until I can take care of my business. She has been hurt by married men in the past and fell in love with a guy who never told her he was married and doesn’t want to get hurt again. She says there can be no us until I take care of my business. My wife is still living with me, We fight but she refuses to leave. She has charged up thousands of dollars in credit card debt and refuses to have anything physically to do with me. We sleep in the same bed but there has not been any *** in about two years. Since I lost my full time job, my wife yells at me and nags and is very abusive. I supported her for three years when she lost her job. What is allowed as far as having a friendship while I am still married. There is no *** with this girl. She told me not to tell my wife about her because she does not want to get involved in my divorce in any way. She is not a lawyer but says that in our state, Massachusetts, there is a 90 day probation period after the divorce is finalized in case the divorced couple wants to reconcile.
If I see this girl Platonic, can my wife and her lawyer sue me for infidelity? Is a lunch or dinner date with a member of the opposite *** be grounds for adultery? Can I move in with this woman once I get a legal separation from my wife? I have been trying for two years to get my wife to work out our problems. My wife has repeatedly refused marriage counseling and denies there is any problems with our marriage and yet she has lists of things wrong with me and insists that I change.
This weekend I told her to go home to her parents and get out of the house. She refused to leave and apologized for her behavior.
Since I lost my full time job, I work a part time job and a temporary job to make ends meet. My wife works full time and we are both covered under her health plan. I have felt trapped in a bad marriage since I lost my job.
A month ago, in one of our fights, I told her that she really needs to cut down on charging up the credit cards on purses. One purse, a Burberry, was over three hundred dollars. She told me if I didn’t like what she does with her charges to find someone else.
So I did find someone else on line. We have been seeing each other for a month. There is great chemistry with this new woman and we are both hot for each other but she is scared of what my wife could do legally and drag her into the divorce as the other woman.
10 Responses to 'What are the rules of engagement as far as dating while still married, then separated, then divorced?'
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i guess that would dependon what you have setup with the person your dating
what were you wedding vows,
I am sure “Dating but not having *** with my new girlfriend while sleeping next to you” was not one of them
Your wife could very well drag her into the divorce so I would sever ALL TIES with your friend until you have made up your mind as to what you are diong.
Apparently your wife doesn’t see your problems as a big deal but her refusing any counseling and stonewalling you isn’t going to help either. Something is definitely amiss (no *** in 2 years?)
In some states, even so much as a HUG photographed with another person can be grounds for divorce.
Be smart about this & play your cards right.
When you are ready to leave, you actually will, trust me. Nobody stays somewhere because they “have” to.
Good luck, either way.
Does not sound like you are married anymore…slow down and get to know yourself before you jump out here and start screwing your life up again.
I think you should work on the list your wife gave you of the things you should change about yourself. If you start working on you, she may, out of good faith, also start cutting back on her credit card spending.
Pretty much all you wrote was an attempt to justify leaving your wife for another woman. You should break off all contact with the other woman, work on yourself, and start improving your marriage.
Sounds like the system there still uses blame (very old and outdated)
My friend, your life has been tough. You need to focus on getting a job and getting really really far away from your wife.
Think of having a good time with the girlfriend for now but unfortunately it may just need to stay in your head for now. The good news is, your brain doesn’t know if you’re imagining it or it’s really happening so happy life for you in the meantime.
The job market has really picked up again here so hope the same for you guys too
Please do not hurt your gf. I have been cheated by a married man, who did not told me he is married the same like her so I understand her feeling very well.
You can change your mind at any time. Clear your mind first. If you are not happy and has no feeling with your wife leave first before dating other woman, but do not cheat.
You should remember you still married and belong to your wife.
Here’s what you need to do. Call all your credit card companies and have the cards canceled. So what if it hurts your credit a little. So will maxing them out and not being able to pay. The next thing you need to do is file for divorce. Get the paperwork started and try to get the divorce BEFORE infidelity becomes an issue. If you’re planning to move in with your girlfriend, why are you waiting for you wife to move out??? Just get a place of your own. If you can’t afford to live on your own, maybe you should consider living with relatives. Besides, new girl is likely to end up feeling a lot like your wife and nagging you if you can’t stand on your own two feet.
Just so you know… Meeting someone online, and knowing them for a month, pretty much boils down to not knowing them at all. Her history with married as well as other men should give you cause to pause. I’d be suspicious of anyone who’s had numerous relationships and always blames their failure on the other person. What if the reason for all those relationships was that, over time, those men couldn’t deal with her???
Get a divorce, stand on your own two feet, then see where the relationship goes with a cautious eye, and heart. Just because you want to have *** with her (or anyBODY) doesn’t mean things will work out. Then you’ll be right back where you are now.
It’s been my experience that when men lose their job they go crazy for a little while. They act like they’ve lost a few inches of their manhood and go around picking fights because they have something to prove. Which is what it sounds like you’re doing. You’re angry about losing your job, angry because your wife is not being more understanding and trying to run away from your problems. Remember that your wife doesn’t understand the full extent of what you’re going through. It’s not the same as if she lost her job, but she doesn’t understand that. Most women don’t understand this kind of thing until they’ve witnessed it first hand. Running away from home isn’t going to solve anything. You need to stay and work on your problems with your wife. I’m not usually one to tell someone to do something other than what they say they want … but seriously, you need to stop and think about this before you act. You are going to regret it later. And quit calling the other woman, I think you’ve built her up into something she isn’t anyway. Don’t you find it funny that the perfect woman appeared out of nowhere the moment you needed her? Life doesn’t usually work that way.
If what you told me about your wife is true, you should have ditched her by now.