My partner is 51 and I’m 40. He has a 30-year managerial career at an upscale Cape Cod hotel with very high pay, and I’m between jobs right now (I usually work retail). He has tons of stocks and bonds and accounts and all that jazz, and I only have a basic bank account. He owns two condos in Fort Lauderdale and a gorgeous BMW convertable, and I own nothing of value. We have a faithful and honest relationship and love one another deeply.

A couple of years ago I had cancer surgery, I have high blood pressure, I’m overweight about 50 pounds, and last month I got Lyme disease from a tick bite on a trip to Disney World. Because of this I have not been able to get health insurance and inexpensive life insurance while living in Florida; but since we are also partial Massachusetts residents (which has good insurance programs) I started looking for insurance recently up here.

Right now we are in heavy credit card debt, and I started to be concerned about what would happen if I died (God forbid), because my partner would get stuck with a huge funeral bill. I also realized that he had no life insurance either. So I asked him what we should do. I told him that I didn’t want him to get stuck with the bill for my funeral because I haven’t been able to contribute much financially to our relationship, and also that I had no clue what to due if (God forbid) something happened to him. I have no access to his accounts and we don’t have wills (I’ve tried to talk to him about that in the past too, with no success).

But he outright refuses to discuss the subject. He says he doesn’t want to talk about it, but I said, “If we don’t talk about it, what will happen if one of us passes?” He just said, “Then I guess it’ll be a big mess,” and he walked away.

I’m about ready to pull my hair out here. Can someone PLEASE give me some useful advice on how to handle this. We’re at an impasse because I will not (i.e. I refuse to) get into a fight with him but at the same time we absolutely cannot ignore this subject. Help!!

Thanks.
[PS.. we have a good relationship otherwise and he is a sweetheart.]
TO BEST F’ING FRIENDS FOREVER:

My partner does not insurance through his hotel. They don’t offer it. He pays for his own insurance. Even if he did get his health insurance from his job, its not the same thing as LIFE insurance. Big difference.
Disney offers domestic partners benefits because the insurance company they chose will do it. Most insurance companies DO NOT cover domestic partners. Why do you think we are fighting so hard for national marriage rights?

Vermont legalizes *** marriage with veto override

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090407/ap_on_re_us/gay_marriage_vermont

y DAVE GRAM, Associated Press Writer Dave Gram, Associated Press Writer – 2 hrs 1 min ago

MONTPELIER, Vt. – Vermont on Tuesday became the fourth state to legalize *** marriage — and the first to do so with a legislature’s vote.

The House recorded a dramatic 100-49 vote, the minimum needed, to override Gov. Jim Douglas’ veto. Its vote followed a much easier override vote in the Senate, which rebuffed the Republican governor with a vote of 23-5.

Vermont was the first state to legalize civil unions for same-sex couples and joins Connecticut, Massachusetts and Iowa in giving gays the right to marry. Their approval of *** marriage came from the courts.

Tuesday morning’s legislative action came less than a day after Douglas issued a veto message saying the bill would not improve the lot of *** and ******* couples because it still would not provide them rights under federal and other states’ laws.

Douglas called override “not unexpected.” He had called the issue of *** marriage a distraction during a time when economic and budget issues were more important.

“What really disappoints me is that we have spent some time on an issue during which another thousand Vermonters have lost their jobs,” the governor said Tuesday. “We need to turn out attention to balancing a budget without raising taxes, growing the economy, putting more people to work.”

House Speaker Shap Smith’s announcement of the vote brought an outburst of jubilation from some of the hundreds packed into the gallery and the lobby outside the House chamber, despite the speaker’s admonishment against such displays.

Among the celebrants in the lobby were former Rep. Robert Dostis, D-Waterbury, and his longtime partner, Chuck Kletecka. Dostis recalled efforts to expand *** rights dating to an anti-discrimination law passed in 1992.

“It’s been a very long battle. It’s been almost 20 years to get to this point,” Dostis said. “I think finally, most people in Vermont understand that we’re a couple like any other couple. We’re as good and as bad as any other group of people. And now I think we have a chance to prove ourselves here on forward that we’re good members of our community.”

Dostis said he and Kletecka will celebrate their 25th year together in September.

“Is that a proposal?” Kletecka asked.

“Yeah,” Dostis replied. “Twenty-five years together, I think it’s time we finally got married.”

Craig Bensen, a *** marriage opponent who had lobbied unsuccessfully for a nonbinding referendum on the question, said he was disappointed but believed *** marriage opponents were outspent by supporters by a 20-1 margin.

“The other side had a highly funded, extremely well-oiled machine with all the political leadership except the governor pushing to make this happen,” he said. “The fact that it came down to this tight a vote is really astounding.”

Also in the crowd was Michael Feiner, a farmer from Roxbury and *** marriage supporter, who took a break from collecting sap for maple syrup-making to come to the Statehouse.

“I’m taking a break to come and basically make sure that I was here to witness history,” he said.

The House had initially approved the bill last week with a 95-52 vote. Smith and his leadership team worked through the weekend to try to persuade some legislators to change their minds.

One who did was first-term Rep. Jeff Young, D-St. Albans. He said he continued to be philosophically opposed to *** marriage, but decided that voting with his fellow Democrats would help him be an effective legislator in the future.

“You realize that, you know, it’s a poker game in some ways,” Young said. “Chips on the table. I’m a freshman. I have no chips. If I … had 20 years of chips, I probably could play any card I want. I don’t have that option.”

He added, “It’s the way the political game is played.”

Here is what I have so far… Please read and tell me if there is anything i should add…

The state of Vermont recently became the fourth state to allow same-sex marriage. Along with Iowa, Massachusetts, and Connecticut, Vermont allows *** couples to engage in holy matrimony. Many people are upset about this; they say marriage should only be between a man and a woman. This is the case for some people, but many other people do not think this at all. *** rights activists all around America fight every day so that homosexuals can have equality too. I’m not one of those people that get angry if people in Vermont are happy with the one they love; I am one of those people who hopes that someday, homosexuals in America will have the same rights as heterosexuals. ********** men and women should be allowed to marry in all states of the United States of America.
If you ask just about anyone, they’ll probably tell you that they believe in equal rights for homosexuals. They’ll probably say that gays deserve the same rights in housing, jobs, public accommodations, and should have the same access to government benefits, equal protection of the law, etc. But if then asked about *** marriage, all this talk about equality for gays stops dead in its tracks. Why is it that these people who are in favor of equal rights for gays are opposed to *** marriage? The reason is that there are many misunderstandings about homosexuality. First of all, people think it isn’t natural; however, this is not the truth. ********** behavior has been described in about 450 species of animals. This applies to humans too; we are technically animals! Homosexuals also cannot help who they love. There have been many extensive studies over the past years about whether homosexuality is hereditary or not, and many answers have been given. Some say it is a choice, some say it depends on the type of environment one grows up in, and others say it “runs through the family.” Well, about 15 years ago, a geneticist named Dean Hamer discovered that it is partially (if not fully) hereditary and runs through the mother’s side on the “X” chromosome. Basically, the majority of ********** people in America are being prevented of rights because of something they can’t control. There are also stereotypes about *** relationships. The stereotype is that gays are promiscuous, unfaithful, and unable to form lasting relationships. And this does happen in some *** marriages. It does, however, happen in heterosexual marriages too, and the percentage in both is very small. As gays grow older, just as straight people do, they learn to find a way into long-term relationships. These stereotypes are not fair, whatsoever; they are just what people assume.
Many Americans despise *** marriage, not to mention the fact that there are even homosexuals in the world. They say that *** marriage is wrong because marriage is sacred and should be between and man and a woman, they say it is pointless because there is no reproduction happening, they say it is against religion, etc. My favorite quote from a married *** couple I know is, “How does my marriage affect the sanctity of yours?” Why does this ********** couple’s happiness make their straight neighbors angry? Why do the neighbors even care? Many people say that the sanctity of marriage needs to be preserved, and that marriage is only meant to be between a man and a woman. The divorce rate in the US right now is hovering around 60%. How’s that for sanctity? Others say that it shouldn’t be allowed because God wants us to repopulate the Earth, and gays can’t do this. These people are thinking illogically, however. If anything, *** marriage would help the earth. The world is completely overpopulated, and if the roughly 10% of gays on Earth were to refrain from reproduction, this world would most likely be better off. Why are gays prevented from marrying because they are infertile? Infertile heterosexual couples get married all the time! Is a couple with a post-menopausal woman or an impotent man prevented from marrying? No, they aren’t. This is completely unfair. Homosexuals having the ability to marry could also help the economy in the US. If there were more people getting married, more marriage licenses would have to be purchased, giving the states more money. Another reason that people oppose *** marriage is religion. People believe that gays should not be allowed to marry because God says so. Many passages in the Bible, such as Leviticus 20:13, say that homosexuality and ****** will send you straight to Hell. In Leviticus is says, “If a man lies with a male, as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. This makes no sense! God makes everyone in his image, and since homosexuality is not a choice, this is not true. God did not write the Bible. Humans did, and they wrote what they had heard and what they believed. The Bible also says that God loves
sorry it didnt all fit:
everyone and “though shalt not judge.” It’s basically contradicting itself. Also, according to the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States, the Bible has no standing in American law, and what God says isn’t so.
The Declaration of Independence says that all people have the right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. Do gays not count as “all people?” We are all born the same way. We all spend the first nine months of our life crammed into out mother’s womb. We all take the same first breath when we are born. Why is it, then, that homosexuals do not have the same rights as heterosexuals? They too are living, breathing human beings, so wouldn’t it make sense for them to have equal rights? Gays are people too, and they can’t help who they love. They don’t have a choice. Asking a ********** to become heterosexual is just like asking a heterosexual to become **********. It isn’t possible! Gays in Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, South Afri
Africa, Spain and Norway have the right to marriage, but gays in America don’t. The United States of America is supposed to be the greatest nation in the world. We are supposed to be setting good examples for other countries to follow us, and here we are, not allowing gays to marry. It really is a shame if you think about it. Another reason that gays should be allowed to marry is that Civil Union is simply not enough. There are many rights that come with marriage but do not come with Civil Union. The following are the rights that do not come with Civil Union: automatic inheritance, burial determination, child custody, crime victim’s recovery benefits, divorce protections, domestic violence protection, exemption from property tax on partner’s death, joint parenting, medical decisions on behalf of partner, property rights, visitation of partner’s children,
visitation of partner in hospital or prison, child benefits in the event of a divorce, and many more. Also, the federal government
does not recognize Civil Unions given by states. America has tried to make “separate but equal” laws for gays, but these laws are hardly equal. The only difference between a heterosexual and a ********** is a prefix. They are people too, and they need to be treated like them.
Gays and straights that believe in equal, not separate but equal, rights for all ********** people work long and hard in hopes of someday gaining these rights. It is sad that many people just stand by and observe while others speak out against them. More people need to get involved in helping these people gain rights. Many schools have gay-straight alliance, and students can get together, support each other, talk about issues related to sexuality, and work to end homophobia. Joining these alliances can help students grow up and work for *** rights. There are also many *** pride marches. Showing up to a *** pride march shows your support for the *** community. Here are some other ideas to show appreciation for ga
Here are some other ideas to show appreciation for gays: vote for politicians who back *** rights, write to your politicians and tell them what you think, stick up for a *** friend, help spread tolerance, participate in the day of silence, donate to organizations that are for *** rights, and volunteer for organizations that support *** rights. By doing these things, you can help the people in America realize that gays are people too, and they deserve just the same rights as we do.
BTW: im *** but this is for school and im not out so im acting as if im straight

The last post went off into tangents I wasn’t looking for.

The question is why do gays support liberals? What have they done to further your cause?

New York and California, both very liberal states have affirmed a ban on *** marriage.

New Jersey and Vermont, again, both very liberal states only provide second class status of civil unions.

And Massachusetts has *** marriage only because of a court ruling. The same court also ruled that the voters should be able to vote to over turn the ruling, which looks likely that they will.

If the legislature passed the bill allowing *** marriage, no one could stop them as they have enough votes to override the governors veto.

Massachusetts has almost 75% of its population as registered democrats. It should be a breeze, right? No, they fear by supporting you they would lose their jobs.

So why do the liberals get so much support from the *** community? What have they done for you?

I heard about the politician who made this comment and I was curious as to what other people make of it. Now, I’m an openly *** male, in my twenties living in Massachusetts. I’m getting married in August. Now, I’m very happy, I’m just like any other human being. I have a good job, I think I treat everyone pretty equally, I pay tax, I have a loving family, I don’t have a judgemental bone in my body. Now do I sound like a terrorist?

Are both states under the same terms? I was going to go to Cali to get married but if Massachusetts has exactly the same laws and stipulations regarding it then I would go there.