URGENT!! THIS IS LONG BUT READ IF YOU CAN GIVE ME ADVICE: HOW TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION AND BOYFRIENDS PARENTS WHO WONT ACKNOWLEDGE IT…

My boyfriend and I have dated for the last four year, He is 25 now and I am 24. We bought a house in Massachusetts together and have lived together for about 2 1/2 years now. We have 2 dogs and are planning on getting married. We are extremely healthy and practical young adults and we are doing out best to make it independently in this world without having to fail or move back in with our parents. The stress is heavy but our bills are still getting paid and food is always on our table. After over a year of being efficient in living on our own, The past four months my boyfriend has dropped into a stage of being overwhelmed and depressed. He has begun going to see a therapist because he started to lash out on me personally and have these breakdowns where he got really angry and unreasonable. With winter coming he has gotten to the lowest point I have ever seen him. His attitudes are unpredictable and he says some pretty rotten things to me I never thought he’d say. Very manic, very uneven.
His mother is very depressed, his parents have been wanting to divorce for years but his siblings are still teenagers and so they stay together. His family are in no way emotionally efficient. They dont talk about problems, they bottle them all up. He has been going home after work to do odd jobs for his parents every day after work and not coming straight home from work like he used to. He always “stops in” to check on them or to pick something up or drop something off. I understand his need for seeing his family regularly but they don’t help him with his serious depression. He has expressed to me he has suicidal thoughts and they pretend everything is just the same. His dad won’t even acknowledge he is in therapy. HIS FAMILY DOES NOTHING TO HELP HIM.

I have to deal with the manic attitudes, and the depression, and the complaining about the shadows cast over life, while his family gets to not have to face it. I have to bear the brunt of his depression. This has caused a divide divide between his family and I. I feel they aren’t trying to help him out of this rough period. They pretend he isn’t sad and depressed and everything is okay, they pretend not to hear when he comments about therapy or depression.

How do I act around his family. Can I express to his parents how disappointed I am with them at their lack of support for their suffering son, what do I do about being so angry and resentful that I am the only one who has to deal with this depressed man? Where are the boundaries?
Since his family tends to clam up when faced with real issues of importance or of heavy emotion how should I approach this. Is writing a letter to them rude aqnd cold or is is appropriate and descrete? I don’t want to cause more stree for bf by creating and argument between me and them.
CoeyG: The reason it DOES effect me is because he has begun to spend a lot of time around his families home lately. I think he goes there looking forhappiness or support and they pretend like there is no problem then he comes home afterwards and I have to be the only one to see him and deal with him as depressed as he is. They let him pretend nothing is wrong with him and it comes back onto me two fold when he comes home form there…. his disapointment in his family not helping him through this makes it worse!!!

My name is Melissa and I live in this hick town called Gardner in North Central Massachusetts and I have a big problem. I’m 15 and will be 16 soon (next month) I wanted to get a part time job over the summer vacation and maybe keep it after school starts. But now my parents forbid it saying I’m not ready.

The real reason why is that last year after my brother after he graduated high school he packed up all his stuff during the middle of the night walked out and never contacted us again. My friend tracked him down and we talked but he still nearly a year later has not talked or anything with my parents. I think they know I probably will do the same thing if I have any money.

I’m a ******* living in the closet from my parents and evil cult church (Born Again Christian) and YES I want to leave this stupid evil hick town and go live somewhere else but without any money when I graduate I’ll be homeless. I don’t want to but joining the military after I graduate may be my only way out of this town and away from my parents.

I do get money from doing odd jobs and I have an older friend who gives me money and stuff, he is the same one who tracked down my brother but I don’t think he will spring for an apartment or college classes.

I **** my life and nobody will let me do anything to make things better.
What can I do?

I live in Massachusetts, and I want to send flowers to one of my family members in Arizona. Is that possible through an online florist? When I tried out on the websites, all they ask for is a zip code then it sends me to check out. I want to know how it works before I pay for them and if they actually will get there on time and the flowers still being fresh. Thanks.

My dad hasn’t had a job in 8 months, and we are ‘supposedly’ moving back to massachusetts (we live in nevada). he talks as if we’re moving at the end of the month, but it never happens! anyway, he has a new “plan” as he calls it….to not pay for the house!!! i’m so worried! if he doesn’t pay the morgage on the house, how long until they kick us out?!?!

the reason that he’s “doing this” is because he bought the house for 300,000 and now it’s worth 100,000 and he owes like 200,000 on it…something like that.

what can i do!!???
i’m 15, and i don’t have any family AT ALL on the west coast. e_________e

I grew up in Ohio, go to college in Massachusetts, but my parents moved recently to Iowa to start a new job. Whenever I go home for break, I have to go THERE, where I have no high school and childhood friends. Last year, as a first-year, I went home as my parents wished, and worked full-time in a job there. It was probably the most miserable summer of my life. The people of Iowa are very nice, but I knew no one, and my 3.5 months revolved around my boring family and even more boring work. We live in a college town, so all the students had gone home. I missed my boyfriend and friends back in Boston like I’ve never missed anything before. I told my mom that after that ordeal, I would never do it again. I would instead apply for internships and jobs on campus or elsewhere, where my friends could be.

The predicament is, I’m home for Christmas now, and she won’t stop suggested that I apply for certain things in IOWA, so I could live at home again for 3.5 months. How can I stop this?
I know it’s because she loves me, but she needs to learn to let go of me! What is the best way I can do this without hurting her? I know I already have hurt her a few times by almost blowing up on her.

so here is the deal i am 16 my boyfriend is 17, and i am 7 months pregnant. My dad got a job offer to move to Massachusetts and get paid double of what he is now. we live in Indiana right now. Well i think my dad is going to take the job which means him, my mom and sisters are going to move up there. I am most likely going to move in with my boyfriend and his family which is pretty much my family. Then after he is born i am going to get a job and me and my boyfriend are going to get an apartment. I am on probation and will be getting off December 17th. Will my probation officer make me stay in school, or can i tell her i am going to get my GED and she will let me do that?? Or if i tell her i am moving with my family can she let me off early?

please no rude answers.

So.
My dad has always been an abusive alcoholic. He’s hit me and verbally abused me if I didn’t give him my money to support his addiction. He’s even called me “sexually attractive” on more than one occasion, but has said he doesn’t see any problems with his actions.

My mother is aware of all of this.
They divorced in August 2007.

He lives in an RV about an hour away from my mother and I.
My mother and I continue live in the same 1,500 sq.ft. house in the southwest side of Houston, TX. We’ve lived here since 1994.

Since August 2007 my father has frequently visited my mother and I.
He usually comes on weekends.

I don’t want to have any sort of contact with him at all.
I’ve told that to my mother several times over the years, but she never seems to do anything about that.

My father has been in and out of rehab for several years, but has never remained sober for more than three months.

As a consequence of growing up with an alcoholic father, I developed mild OCD, slight anxiety, and I can’t seem to get close to people/I have trouble trusting people because of the constant disapointments and manipulations from my father.

I am from Boston, Massachusetts.
I was born there in 1993 and lived in Quincy (city just south of Boston)
before moving to Houston, as said, in 1994.
I consider Boston home, not just because of all the bad memories of my father in Houston, it’s because everytime I go up to visit New England, it just feels like home.
I feel more at home in Boston than I ever did in Houston.

That being said, I want to move to Boston. (Well, Brookline/Newton since I’m still in high school)
The reason is pretty obvious.
I want to move on with my life.
I don’t want to keep re-living the dark memories that have haunted me for so long… that still continue to haunt me actually.
I want a fresh start.
I know it isn’t easy, however.

My mom just lost her job at American Express travel agency.
She has looked, but wasn’t able to find a job in Boston nor here in Houston.

My mom says she’s tired of my father and the choices he continues to make, but still continues to talk to him daily over the phone and he comes over on Saturdays now to visit.

I don’t see him.
I sleep whenever he comes over.
I haven’t talked to him in over two months.
I’m proud of myself that I have made small steps to move on.
My mother hasn’t, obviously.

But it’s hard to move on with your life when your mother still continues to have contact with someone you ****.

I don’t want to be this bitter person.
I want to be happy.

So, my question is, what should I do to convince my mother to stop communicating with my father and move to Massachusetts in order to move on with our lives.

[I have asked and no my mother does not love/ is not in love with my father]
[I appoligize for such a long post]

To make a long story short: My husband recently got out of the Navy. We traveled all over and thought it would be nice to move back to our home state of New York. By us I mean our 2 year old son, and me and husband.

Well we aren’t happy here and we are going to be moving 4 hours away to Massachusetts. My husband has been offered a great job. 2 great jobs. Everyone on my side of the family is ok. My husband’s parents are not. They call us screaming, saying they want no contact with us because it hurts too much. She is saying we are stealing their grandchildren (I’m 22 weeks pregnant) she is saying my husband has no religious or family values, and that he is trading over his family for more money. Also, according to her, this is my entire fault and all my idea. She has told me I am selfish and putting myself before my kids.

This was my husband and I’s decision. It is only 4 more hours away than we are now. We are doing what is best for us, and we aren’t going to back down
With all the things she has said and done to me, I no longer consider myself apart of that family. Time can change things, but for now I am worried about my son and husband. Do you have any advice? I am writing her a letter.

My dad wants to move back to Massachusetts cause all of our family is back there. The reason we moved to California my freshman year was because my mom died and i think he couldn’t take it. Well it is my senior year. And he just came home and told me the medical clinic back in Massachusetts he used to work at is hiring physicians again and he just applied online. I asked why and he said going back there a couple of weeks ago for my aunts wedding made him miss the family. Well if he gets the job we will move over xmas break! Its my senior year and i wanted to graduated here and the colleges i want to go to are within driving distance of our apartment! I just started a part time job a couple of weeks ago. He forced me to move my freshman year and leave all my friends again. I did complain about being here but i am situated now!

What do i tell him!!!!!!!? He has caused me so much problems lately!
Ok im sorry i spelt convince wrong but i really need help.

First let me tell you i am already a mother of three children. I have a four year old boy and one year old twin girls. I am a nanny to my brother and sister(my father’s second marriage) who are 8 and 11 years old. Their mother is now a single parent who owns her own biz. She is taking a new job working with a company out of massachusetts. She will be traveling at least once or twice a month. They will be at my house with me 24/7 at least half the month if not more. I raise them like my own kids. She is currently paying me $525.00 a month after taxes and pays for pizza every friday night. She also contributes at least $200.00 a month towards the food bill. I don’t want to take advantage but, i want to be paid fair. Keep in mind they are my brother and sister!! I love being a mother and love having them around. I going to have a sit down with her soon and don’t know how much to ask for ! Does any one have any advice for me?
keep in mind she makes six figures and i raide her kids!
plus she gets 1,200.00 a month for child support from our father who is on SSI and is mentally unstable.